Like a Bad Neighbor

I have a ton of things I would rather post about, including the Winter Olympics, local restaurants, and of course, my dog; however, here I am, stuck writing an unpleasant sort of post about the place I live and the people there.

Tangentially, this is about my dog. As a puppy of about 8.5 weeks old, she ran up to my neighbor's shrew wife, barking her head off, after jumping out of the car and darting away from me. Gracie is nothing if not enthusiastic and people-oriented. My neighbors threw a huge bitch-fit about being scared of dogs. I have sympathy for people who are scared of dogs. I was one of them for the first three decades of my life! But even at my worst, I was never scared of puppies. Seriously, people, a puppy? Actually, I doubt they are afraid of dogs at all, but are rather disapproving of something else...

Anyway, that was right at two years ago now. I do my best to keep her on a leash, even if it is a bit longer than the oh-so traditional six-footer. My partner is has at times been markedly less compliant in this, primarily in the name of training, recall, and exercise. He wants her to learn. I would rather him consider where we are.

My neighbor has repeatedly accused us of allowing Gracie into his yard. Other than a couple loose-puppy forays, all well over a year and a half ago now, that's a lie. We do have several roving dogs in the neighborhood - an American bulldog, two medium-sized pitbulls, and a pit-Labrador (pitador) mix - but Gracie doesn't go toward their yard even when she does manage to seize a few minutes of freedom from her too-trusting handlers. She heads for the woods where the deer are, more often than not dragging her leash behind her (and laughing, I'm sure). End of story.

Several months ago my partner had a clash with the neighbor about some Sunday evening yard noise, which ended with the neighbor hurling some racist slurs at my partner and calling the police to report our dog for trespassing - again, like I said, he's a liar and I would print his name if only I knew it for sure.

Early this evening, we had Gracie tethered at the back door for about ten minutes because we both got in too late this afternoon to take her anywhere to play or go on a long walk. She barked a couple times, so partner stepped out. Dickhead next door was standing at the property line with his cell phone, recording her. We think he must have done something to antagonize her, as Gracie isn't a huge barker, except in the car. We also saw him outside at the curb in front of our house, taking pictures or recording, about twenty minutes later.

Now, here's something really odd. One day this week - either Tuesday or Wednesday, I think - something upset Gracie enough for her to paw at the front blinds. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out when we aren't home, so I'm wondering if the neighbor came into the yard or maybe even peered in through our windows. But if so, why? We have a great security system, for which Gracie is an adequate back-up, and no obvious signs of undue affluence. It's a poorer neighbor with periodic crime issues. What would have been the motive? She was still very upset when partner got home.

I can't prove the guy next door did anything. It's only our word against his for the filming and pictures. I could quietly file a report, or I could in a decent area, but I'm not sure about here. Partner is mega-upset, but after dealing with the police last time, their treatment has made him reluctant to go to them for assistance, especially given the racial issues at play in our neighborhood and community as a whole.

The reason I'm posting this is primarily to have some record of our concerns in case the neighbor does anything rash. I don't know that it would ever be found, if we were killed or something, but the Internet has long been the repository of everything. Let it keep this account too.

Advice is welcome.

Just a quickie post

After a long Saturday at work, I came home to this:

That's right. Homemade meatloaf in a heart-shaped pan. My partner made this for us. Awww....

Canine loyalty is a myth

No, seriously, dogs are not really loyal. If they were, my partner would have been unable to steal the love and loyalty of the dog I raised from a tiny puppy (with virtually no input from him). As it were, he has done so. Gracie lives for him; she only tolerates me.

How was this accomplished?

After all, bonds made in during the puppy months (seven weeks to seven months) should be fairly enduring, right? It isn't like I left the country. I spend quality time with Gracie ever single day. I give her praise, treats, and guidance. And she absolutely loved me when she was little. From the moment I brought her home (I lived alone then), she never wanted me out of her sight.

That was then, as my partner is fond of saying.

After he moved in, his easy work schedule allowed him time with her that I just couldn't have. He would get home three and half hours before me some days. And he would spend the lion's share of that time with the dog-daughter. That's how he was able to usurp her loyalty, and I never even realized before it was too late. And even if I had realized, what would I have been able to do? Nothing. Unless I quit my job (not happening!), I would have been powerless to stop this.

So instead of having the devotion of a German Shepherd, I have a dog that likes me well enough, but really considers me...eh, just a friend, while thinking of my partner as her lord and master.

Don't get me wrong. I wanted a family dog for us for when he moved in. I wanted that a lot. BUT I also wanted to be included in that family, not just from my partner's perspective, but from Gracie's as well. I clearly do not have that.

So...dog loyalty...I'm pretty much calling this one a myth. They're loyal to whoever is convenient at that moment. It's no more complicated or mystical than that. And I have a very fickle and disloyal dog.

For the kicker: my partner blames me and won't accept any responsibility for doing this.

Getting another dog would not fix this; he would just take that one too. I think about it, even though I don't want another dog - I want MY dog back.