Post-Christmas Post

So partner and I spent yesterday with my family, his family, and the dog. That sounds great, right?

Actually, for the most part, it was fun. We ate some good food, listened to stories, played with the dog, went for a walk, opened presents, ate even more food, listened to music, etc. All of that was terrific stuff. It's a very different Christmas than what I've always had before.

This year, sadly, my partner and his siblings lost their mother to a short battle with pancreatic cancer. This is the first holiday season that partner and his younger brother have spent without her. In fact, they usually go to Florida while I stay here with a complicated work schedule and a stress-free, drama-free Christmas with my very low-key and quiet family.

These season was different. For the record, as much as their politics frighten me, I really like partner's friends and his brother, who is actually a lot different than my first impressions of him. That said, it's tough making the drive and partner is not a nice man when he drinks. No, not at all.

We had a great time, but when we got home, our neighbor, who once called the police on partner for asking them to keep the noise down on a Sunday night, was just pulling into his driveway. In our haste to get us and Gracie into the house, partner bashed his head on the rear door of the Jeep. He was angry, belligerent, and vile to me for the next four to five hours.

Happy Christmas.

Friends

Yes, I'm being eaten alive by the holidays. And you?

Tonight, my partner and I ventured northward-ho to see his friends again. I like these people. They treat me with respect and friendliness. I'm really introverted (duh, right?) so I have trouble with social gatherings and stuff like that.

Plus partner's brother was there. I always wanted a brother. You know, how it is. I was an only child, but never lonely. I just wanted someone on my side when I had horrific school issues. I always imagined that a brother, preferably older, would have done the trick.

Also...his friends have dogs. What beats that?

Well...watching two grown men shoot craps in the rain.

Maybe.

Family

My family got a lot bigger this year - a stepmother, two stepsisters, three (step) uncles complete with aunts, etc.

My own mother does not seem to be speaking to me, possibly because my partner and I did not see her for Thanksgiving. Mileage may vary.

My stepmother is actually quite cool. I could list some of her best traits, but...hey, what the heck, I might as well: she treats my dad as her equal, I can make her laugh, she is a dog-person, and she's nice to me.

My stepsisters are a bit...like...supermodels, but with good brains. Seriously, they tower over everyone in my family. Gorgeous stepsisters. Intimidating stepsisters. Twin stepsisters. Um...they're nice? You know? They're going to be successful in life. I just...don't have any frame of reference for relating to them. They're only ten years my junior.

Christmas should be very exciting this year. Certainly bigger.

Holiday Slackeritis

School ended Friday. I made my first B as an MLIS student. Kind of depressing.

I'm mostly not answering emails, on Facebook, or tweeting right now, not so much because of that, but just these holiday doldrums infused with a vague sense of failure, ennui, and fight-or-flight. Not a pretty mix.

I remember loving the holidays. Now, I'm like my partner - the boy who hates Christmas - almost.

What to do about it. Hmm...don't know.

I think once Christmas shopping and cards are done, I'll feel better. Definitely will after I get my next semester registration out of the way.

And who knows what next year could bring? Right?

Whew...made it!

So Thanksgiving Eve was a little hairy and miserable, but Thanksgiving Day shaped up pretty darn nicely.

My partner and I took the dog with us to both gatherings. She was a huge hit. Stellar manners and sweet to everyone. Poster child for German Shepherds as familial companions. For the win!

The peeps were very welcoming. No politics, no religion, no drug use, no fighting, no drama, just...cool. I would most definitely do this again. Even the drive to Cobb was pleasant. The sunset coming back...magnificent!

Partner is dead on the couch listening to football now.

Tomorrow, the question is: to shop or not to shop? My family draws names for gifts. It's supposed to be secret, who got whose name, but I already know three. I got one of my gorgeous twin step-sisters. helpme

Follow-up to previous

Okay. The neighbor left after about an hour and a half, during most of which my partner was telling him to leave. Not a smart one. I was still mad, but trying not to give off that vibe. I don't think I was entirely successful.

So...about ten minutes later, partner informs me that after going to my grandmother's for a larger-than-average Thanksgiving, we will be driving up to Cobb County to see his brother, nephew, and friends for a couple hours.

Here's the thing with that. The last time he visited these friends they revved him up with ring-wing politics and evangelical christianity and sent him back to me in such a way as to inspire this post. At least, I think that was the one. I may have not posted the one I wrote first off because it was too personal. He came back angry. He came back with me scoped in as the appropriate target. Now, I am butt-fuck terrified that he's taking me there for a verbal-emotional gang-bang.

I do not want.

But he's going to my family Thanksgiving, so not only can I not refuse to go, I can't even have the conversation.

Hey, are you going to turn me over to your friends to learn how to be a subservient christian woman who'll never challenge your sacred manhood again with her highfalutin notions of honor, courage, and integrity?

That wouldn't go over so well.

The fact that he sprang this on me last-minute is actually a sort of blessing. I could not have functioned at work with this hanging over my head.

Let's all sing Sword of Damocles from Rocky Horror now. I'll be Rocky.

I wish I knew how this will turn out. I don't often wish for the gift of foresight. I wish I had a scosche right now.

Prediction: this will not end well.

ETA: It is after 2:15 AM and the fight just ended. I did not expect that. Tomorrow, I hope we don't go for a repeat.