My partner is up my butt again about refinancing my house. We went through this a year ago, right after he moved in, and even had a guy do some paperwork for us to see what could be done. Poor guy. I feel guilty about wasting his time, but whatever keeps the peace at home, you know?
I have an FHA loan, because I was a first-time buyer who rescued a foreclosure, and that limits things slightly. But overall, I think what I have now isn't a big problem. I pay $681 a month, including all the taxes and fees. Everyone wants to pay less for everything - just take that as a given - but all things considered, the house isn't under water and it's in moderately okay condition. The interest rate on the loan is 6.0%, fixed. I bought the house the literal day that the economy crashed. I have great credit, but low purchasing power; I make my bills, but I don't make bank, in other words.
We are planning/hoping to move to a nicer area within the next three years. Because of that, I think refinancing would be a disaster because of closing costs and lost equity. I'm the only one who ever put a dime into the house, so obviously, he doesn't care about these aspects and believes we wouldn't pay ANY closing costs. He didn't say as much, but I know that means rolling the closing into the loan and therefore not just paying closing costs, but interest on them as well. NOT cool.
I guess he saw something on the news and is running with it in hopes of getting free money somehow.
Still, I feel really certain that refinancing is not the answer for us. If we were going to stay here long enough to recoup costs and establish more equity in the house, I would go for crunching the numbers again, but for me, the priority is getting the hell out of this neighborhood! I don't want to damage our chances with some risky scheme.
Now, I just need to convince him of that (again).
Because repetition is inevitable and transformation is not.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Happy Saturday
She got underneath the fence without us noticing and in the struggle to get her back she managed to slip out of a KONG Adjustable Dog Harness that I've always considered pretty secure. Then she looked us on the wrong side of the fence, laughed doggily, and made a swift beeline for the horses. I was torn between worrying she'd be stamped and worrying she'd come back with a mouthful of horse meat. She is a German Shepherd, from working lines, after all.
Thankfully, neither of those things happened. Instead, she stared at the bigger horse for a minute, sniffed from a respectful distance, and raced back to us. She returned beneath the fence of her own accord. Whew...
That was the adventure for today. The weather was perfect.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Alcohol
This is one of those places where my opinion differs greatly from both mainstream and my own cultural group(s). I despise drinking. It's not just a personal, me, thing. I don't like the taste of anything alcohol-based I have ever tasted, ranging from wine, beer, brandy, and mixed drinks. That's on me. I never had the capacity to acquire the taste.
No, I actually hate drinking more generally, and that's because I've never known anyone to do it well. No one I've ever seen is nicer, smarter, harder-working, or easier to get along with while drinking. In fact, most people I know are either angry or mentally slow while intoxicated. So...which do you prefer: scary or frustrating? I would rather not deal with either one. Especially angry or its near kindred - cruel or violent.
And a lot of people seem to have the backwards notion that if something bad is done while drunk, that should mitigate any legal consequence or social ones. What the heck, people??? Unless a person was held down while alcohol was poured down their gullet, they are just as responsible for that as for anything else in their lives. Decision made, consequences lived with. Done.
I don't advocate prohibition. It didn't work. Plus cooking with wine can work pretty well - I always makes sure to get a one-minute rolling boil or use it in the slow cooker. Pinot Noir and pork chops with black-eyed peas = yum. Screaming drunken jackass = not so much.
What then? I advocate people who dislike drinking saying so instead of holding a cup of diet Coke at a party and pretending it has JD in it. I advocate people standing up and saying that bad drunken behavior is JUST as intolerable as bad sober behavior. I advocate using technology, like Instagram or Youtube, to shame people who engage in dangerous behavior while drinking or who are black-out drunks and plead amnesia in the AM.
But this is just me.
No, I actually hate drinking more generally, and that's because I've never known anyone to do it well. No one I've ever seen is nicer, smarter, harder-working, or easier to get along with while drinking. In fact, most people I know are either angry or mentally slow while intoxicated. So...which do you prefer: scary or frustrating? I would rather not deal with either one. Especially angry or its near kindred - cruel or violent.
And a lot of people seem to have the backwards notion that if something bad is done while drunk, that should mitigate any legal consequence or social ones. What the heck, people??? Unless a person was held down while alcohol was poured down their gullet, they are just as responsible for that as for anything else in their lives. Decision made, consequences lived with. Done.
I don't advocate prohibition. It didn't work. Plus cooking with wine can work pretty well - I always makes sure to get a one-minute rolling boil or use it in the slow cooker. Pinot Noir and pork chops with black-eyed peas = yum. Screaming drunken jackass = not so much.
What then? I advocate people who dislike drinking saying so instead of holding a cup of diet Coke at a party and pretending it has JD in it. I advocate people standing up and saying that bad drunken behavior is JUST as intolerable as bad sober behavior. I advocate using technology, like Instagram or Youtube, to shame people who engage in dangerous behavior while drinking or who are black-out drunks and plead amnesia in the AM.
But this is just me.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Sweepstaking
This is a little sad, but I entered a Facebook sweepstakes with voting. Shock and horror, right? Who does that. Anyway, I've actually received a few votes...which sort of made me want to try harder with it, you know?
Here's the link: http://bit.ly/17F2tUC.
It's for furniture from a store right by my house. Seriously, if we had sidewalks, I could walk there in about thirty minutes.
Here's the link: http://bit.ly/17F2tUC.
It's for furniture from a store right by my house. Seriously, if we had sidewalks, I could walk there in about thirty minutes.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Geritocracy vs gerontocracy
A few people have pointed out to me, thanks to their mad wikipedia skills, that the term gerontocracy already exists and describes a form of governance similar to this thing that I posit.
Actually, no.
Gerontocracy existed in Russia during the Cold War. It was a way of explaining that though their leaders aged, they never left their positions in the Communist hierarchy. The system was a static one created by late-middle-aged politicians, much like the ones that rule...everywhere, even here. They were not chosen for their age, their life experience, their values. They just had the right connections and toed a party line.
What I purpose differs in that aging into a position from an unappealingly youthful age (under 70) would be nearly impossible. Those who rule in a geritocracy would already have some serious seasoning before they even got to be so much as dog-catcher. It's not an aging system (much). It's a system run by the aged. No networking. No partisan politics.
And that's different.
Actually, no.
Gerontocracy existed in Russia during the Cold War. It was a way of explaining that though their leaders aged, they never left their positions in the Communist hierarchy. The system was a static one created by late-middle-aged politicians, much like the ones that rule...everywhere, even here. They were not chosen for their age, their life experience, their values. They just had the right connections and toed a party line.
What I purpose differs in that aging into a position from an unappealingly youthful age (under 70) would be nearly impossible. Those who rule in a geritocracy would already have some serious seasoning before they even got to be so much as dog-catcher. It's not an aging system (much). It's a system run by the aged. No networking. No partisan politics.
And that's different.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Serendipitous newsstory in AJC
I actually wanted to link to it, but the AJC has it as a premium subscriber-only article, and I'll be damned if I pay for a newspaper...on the Internet. Seriously?
The gist is that while the majority of Georgians hate the new healthcare reform act, most of them do support some of the provisions therein, like insurance companies not being able to deny coverage for preexisting conditions. That's one of the biggest victories in the law, IMHO, so it's nice to see I'm not alone in feeling that way.
I just wish people were more open-minded about other parts of the law that will help people, you know?
The gist is that while the majority of Georgians hate the new healthcare reform act, most of them do support some of the provisions therein, like insurance companies not being able to deny coverage for preexisting conditions. That's one of the biggest victories in the law, IMHO, so it's nice to see I'm not alone in feeling that way.
I just wish people were more open-minded about other parts of the law that will help people, you know?
Monday, September 23, 2013
The elephant in the waiting room
I don't actually feel conflicted about the controversy over healthcare. I feel apathetic toward the healthcare reform currently underway (Affordable Healthcare Act) because it's badly cobbled together with some amazing parts and many more lackluster ones, all of which are the sine qua non of our failed political system. That said, people who oppose reform absolute baffle me at the most basic human level I know.
I think we're pretty much divided into three camps here: the chronically ill, those who've experienced a devastating health crisis, and the well. The first two groups support, IMHO, something being done to fix our broken, emotionally degrading, and financially oppressive system. The third group just wants the sick to fucking die already so they don't have to 'pay' for anyone else's problems. Harsh, but really, isn't that essentially true? Isn't that the crux of the matter?
People who are well believe themselves morally superior. They don't feel any gratitude for having their health. They taken it as a given that being a good, morally upstanding, probably Christian American gives them protection from the demons of disease, illness, and freak accident, while the godless and/or unrepentant get cancer or multiple sclerosis or what-have-you and then selfishly and evilly expect help.
I look at it this way: we do have some health factors within our reasonable control. We can choose not to smoke. We can choose to drink only in moderation. We can buckle our seat belts.
However, there are a lot of factors that are well beyond our control. I don't just mean our genes, gene expression, and genetic predispositions, although these play a huge part. People who are wholly reasonable and responsible in their day-to-day lives can still be injured or die from falling down the stairs. People who exercise can still have a massive heart attack. I refer you to Jim Fixx with regard to that one. People without a familial history of cancer can still get it and suffer expensively...and either live or die based on the quality of care received.
Yes, Virginia, even morally upstanding people who visit their churches and anti-abortion protests twice a week can still end up among the unwell.
I don't really want to wish chronic or long-term illness on anyone.
But for those who have never been there and those who never had a reason to feel grateful for their health or that of others, and therefore might find such gratitude as foreign as taking one's shoes off to enter a home, I sincerely wish they could have some sort of aha! moment that would let them understand how things are for the unwell people whom they so despise, especially those with inadequate access to care.
Now for some disclosure, lest anyone think that I'm interested in reform only for my own benefit: yes, I am chronically ill, but yes, I also have health insurance through my employer, and although the expense remains a pretty harsh financial burden, I am grateful for the fact that I can afford essential medications and preventative healthcare.
That said, most of the people I have sincerely loved in my life - and for any Christians reading, no, that isn't heathen code for 'guys I've fucked', although most of my former boyfriends fit in here too - the majority of them have had some sort of ongoing medical problem, whether it's debilitating back pain from a car accident, epilepsy, Type II diabetes, lingering effects of a stroke, or fibromyalgia. I have had little cause in my life to find or seek out the companionship of well people. That's just me, how I'm wired, apparently. Not to be flippant or tacky, but as a child, I always prefer my older, broken toys to the new ones. They gave greater comfort.
Anyway, that was weirdly long. Sorry about that. I spent a lot of time this weekend at home with my well partner, getting screamed at over this issue, so it's been on my mind.
I think we're pretty much divided into three camps here: the chronically ill, those who've experienced a devastating health crisis, and the well. The first two groups support, IMHO, something being done to fix our broken, emotionally degrading, and financially oppressive system. The third group just wants the sick to fucking die already so they don't have to 'pay' for anyone else's problems. Harsh, but really, isn't that essentially true? Isn't that the crux of the matter?
People who are well believe themselves morally superior. They don't feel any gratitude for having their health. They taken it as a given that being a good, morally upstanding, probably Christian American gives them protection from the demons of disease, illness, and freak accident, while the godless and/or unrepentant get cancer or multiple sclerosis or what-have-you and then selfishly and evilly expect help.
I look at it this way: we do have some health factors within our reasonable control. We can choose not to smoke. We can choose to drink only in moderation. We can buckle our seat belts.
However, there are a lot of factors that are well beyond our control. I don't just mean our genes, gene expression, and genetic predispositions, although these play a huge part. People who are wholly reasonable and responsible in their day-to-day lives can still be injured or die from falling down the stairs. People who exercise can still have a massive heart attack. I refer you to Jim Fixx with regard to that one. People without a familial history of cancer can still get it and suffer expensively...and either live or die based on the quality of care received.
Yes, Virginia, even morally upstanding people who visit their churches and anti-abortion protests twice a week can still end up among the unwell.
I don't really want to wish chronic or long-term illness on anyone.
But for those who have never been there and those who never had a reason to feel grateful for their health or that of others, and therefore might find such gratitude as foreign as taking one's shoes off to enter a home, I sincerely wish they could have some sort of aha! moment that would let them understand how things are for the unwell people whom they so despise, especially those with inadequate access to care.
Now for some disclosure, lest anyone think that I'm interested in reform only for my own benefit: yes, I am chronically ill, but yes, I also have health insurance through my employer, and although the expense remains a pretty harsh financial burden, I am grateful for the fact that I can afford essential medications and preventative healthcare.
That said, most of the people I have sincerely loved in my life - and for any Christians reading, no, that isn't heathen code for 'guys I've fucked', although most of my former boyfriends fit in here too - the majority of them have had some sort of ongoing medical problem, whether it's debilitating back pain from a car accident, epilepsy, Type II diabetes, lingering effects of a stroke, or fibromyalgia. I have had little cause in my life to find or seek out the companionship of well people. That's just me, how I'm wired, apparently. Not to be flippant or tacky, but as a child, I always prefer my older, broken toys to the new ones. They gave greater comfort.
Anyway, that was weirdly long. Sorry about that. I spent a lot of time this weekend at home with my well partner, getting screamed at over this issue, so it's been on my mind.
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